I am the hipster who ruins your formerly ethnic neighborhood with my software job salary and gentrification.
I am the hipster who moved from the Midwest to the coast and cannot fathom moving back (except maybe to Chicago).
I am the millennial who expects their job to be fulfilling and not utterly soul crushing 100% of the time.
I am the millennial who does not hold a lot of employer loyalty because my entire career has been spent with companies who held layoffs over my head as a way to keep me in line.
I am the millennial who stares at my phone in public instead of talking to others.
I am the girl who takes pictures of my food.
I am the girl who takes selfies constantly.
I am the girl who unconditionally loves everything Lena Dunham does.
I am the girl who enjoys seasonal promotions by global conglomerate restaurant chains.
I am the lumpy fat girl who expects to be treated like a human and not a monster.
I am the lumpy fat girl who expects to be able to buy clothes that come in shapes other than "sleeping bag".
I am the queer woman who shows up in your nerd spaces expecting better treatment of women in the culture.
I am the transwoman who expects to be respected as a woman.
I am the social justice warrior who will call you out in public for being racist or sexist or transphobic or a bigot.
I am the social justice warrior who does not care about your feelings.
I am the social justice warrior who does not revere the past and who is actively fighting the status quo.
I am The Problem that is the cause for everything that is wrong with the world today.
I am The Problem and it is all my fault.
I am The Problem and you can blame me for everything for the rest of your life.
I am The Problem and I cannot be stopped.