The Yearbook Office
Writings on staying alive

Did you hear what they did? It's like, what the fuck? I mean seriously, what the fuck?

Can you believe it? I can't believe it. How could they do that? In what world is that a reasonable or accepted thing to do? I mean come on, who even does that? In this day and age? Unbelievable. Ridiculous.

I'm not sure what they expected. Will they ever learn? I would have thought them to have enough good sense to realize that this was the worst possible thing they could have done. It is such a shame too, but I guess we always saw it coming. At least I did. I always knew there was something about them that was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I mean, I like them and we are still friends, I guess, but this changes everything.

I am glad I have you to talk this through, it is so precarious these days. Everyone is always getting their feelings hurt. Some days I barely feel like I can talk about anything without lobbing grenades any more. We all used to be so close, too.

We all had such a good time during that one trip though, that time we went to the Bahamas. To Florida. To Portland. To Vegas. We ate, we drank, we ate some more. Do you remember that one night? When you brought back all those shots. That was such a mistake. We should do that again. And you hooked up with that one guy, or no wait, I did. I can barely remember. We drank so much that night.

Have you heard from her lately? We used to be such good friends in college but I can barely make the time to talk to my parents these days. People just drift apart, you know.

I heard she moved to Greenpoint, to Ballard, to the Marina, to Silverlake, to Boystown, to Hawthorne, to the Third Ward. I heard she got a shelter dog, a rescue cat, a theremin, a moped, a bicycle. She joined a car share, a noise punk band, a church, a co-op garden. She is dating that guy, that girl, that transman, that barista, that ex-Mormon. She always had so much going on. We don't hang out much any more but she seems much happier. She always deserved more, you know?

Did you get invited to their wedding? Me too! It is so good they are finally getting married. I feel like everyone we know is getting married now. I feel like everyone we know is having a baby now. I feel like everyone we know is moving back home now. I can't handle my parents continually asking when I am getting married, having a baby, moving back home. You're no spring chicken they tell me. I know, Mom. I know, Dad. I know, I know, I know.

Sometimes I just wonder, why are we even friends with these people? Why do we hang on to them for so long? Of course I do not feel that way about you, not at all. But I log onto facebook and see people just saying whatever and I seriously question what we had in common at all. Was it just convienience? How much of our lives were centered around convenience back then?

I just feel like my life these days is so complicated and busy. I am just so fucking busy. Every day, busy busy busy. Every morning I wake up exhausted and go to sleep even more so. I swear, it is just with my job and all that other stuff I signed up for, no free time at all any more. Every night I get home and say I am gonna write, gonna read, gonna knit, gonna practice violin and I just end up refreshing Twitter all night.

I just wish things were easier, you know? Like when we were in college. Like when we were in high school. Like when we were little kids. Do you remember being bored? I sure do, what I would give to have enough free moments in a row to feel bored again.

If I could go back in time I would tell myself to just enjoy it. Being an adult is hard and no fun. Having fewer options is better than more. Just relax, kid, I would say. Oh and go buy some lottery tickets with these numbers!!

Anyway, it was so good to catch up with you. I am sorry it has been so long. I know I am bad about responding to emails, voice mails, Christmas cards, birthday wishes, but I feel like we have an understanding about this sort of thing. Your life just seems so put together and I remain a mess. This is the cosmic state of things.

But that is why we work so well together as friends, you know? We have balance. I am so happy to have you, if only to talk about the dumb shit our friends end up doing. Maybe it seems like we talk about that a lot, but I think that is okay too.