The Yearbook Office
Writings on staying alive

This list was originally published as part of Probably Never, an e-mail project that ran for 41 weeks in 2012 and 2013. You can read the full collection at

1. Skyscrapers
2. Trees
3. The color "wheat" (#F5DEB3)
4. Expectations
5. An unripened avocado
6. Unexpected changes
7. The Game Boy Micro
8. A sunny day
9. Boats
10. Shoes that do not fit
11. Existential dread
12. The vastness of space
13. Prescription glasses
14. Coming up with great ideas while lying in bed but not writing them down and then inevitably forgetting them by the morning
15. A misunderstanding
16. The perfect declarative sentence
17. 3/4 cup of brown sugar
18. A rote celebrity profile
19. A lazy ad campaign
20. An awkward interview
21. A vinyl sticker with a message
22. The calming strength of Futura Bold
23. An appetizer sampler
24. White people hating Sofia Coppola for making movies about white people
25. Red walls
26. Unease at the changes in your life you refuse to accept
27. Late nights when you cannot fall asleep
28. The warming familiarity of your favorite TV rerun
29. Young people wishing they were of another time or place
30. Untold hours of hard work mistaken for genius
31. Clear skies for miles
32. A new haircut
33. A YouTube video with four views
34. Regret
35. Seasonal allergies
36. Getting four weeks behind on editing your podcast
37. Unchecked snark
38. A lobster, considered
39. The things you learn but never need
40. Kissing under a bridge
41. A safety night light
42. An expired box of condoms behind your cough medicine
43. A misused word (e.g: "gleam")
44. The last night of your vacation
45. The road more often traveled
46. A faux fur wine bag worn as a hat
47. A quick hit of coke
48. A narrowing world view
49. Your childhood blanket
50. Artisanal pencil shavings
51. A failed endeavor
52. All literature written before 1923
53. Resentment with your current stature in life and unchecked aggression turned inward for past transgressions mixed with the worry about ones inability to change especially as one ages and the feeling that one is doomed to repeat the same mistakes ad infinitum becoming a constant presence in ones thoughts and feelings on a day-to-day basis
54. A bouquet of daisies
55. The joy of an unexpected thank you note
56. A surprise party
57. Black pumps with a 2" stacked heel
58. Large sums of money
59. An Amaj7 strummed over and over again on a seafoam green Fender Mustang
60. Your looming deadline
61. A stranger with your door key
62. Happy numbers
63. A clever play on words
64. Vocal sweetening
65. The continued irony of a congressman named Anthony Weiner being forced to resign for sending a dick pic over Twitter
66. A neck scarf
67. A lack of good fortune
68. The captured youth of Patti Smith's "Just Kids"
69. A lone capybara at the Milwaukee County Zoo
70. The impossibility of very small things
71. Squirrels
72. A question to which the answer is "probably never"
73. A plastic spoon
74. The cracked spine of a well-read book
75. A quiet inside wrist tattoo
76. Finding the confidence to give up
77. Up north
78. Down south
79. The thing you wished you had not said
80. The burden of success
81. A shitty birthday
82. Asymptotic time complexity
83. The game you know you are going to lose before you start playing
84. A puffin-themed workbook about grammar
85. Series continuity
86. Feelings of inadequacy
87. A private ritual
88. Televised singing competitions
89. The perfection of the jangle guitar lead part on "Rebel Rebel"
90. An unintentional hiatus
91. Black coffee
92. Leaves
93. A kegstand
94. The realization that everything is falling apart
95. Vocal fry
96. Needlessly long lists that exist more as a technical writing exercise than something a reader will glean any possible meaning from
97. Clutter
98. A second chance
99. A new beginning
100. Wanting things that are impossible or do not exist